Starting again

So, it's been nearly two weeks since I had my lap and as of tomorrow and, in my doctor's opinion, I'll be considered "fully recovered." Even though the incisions are still healing and there is still some bruising around each one, I do feel nearly healed and I'm ready to jump back into exercise and TTC.

I had my follow up with the RE last Tuesday and got the lowdown on what all he did during the surgery. I tried to outline what was done but it was based on the post anesthesia fog report that my husband gave me. My husband really tried to remember what the doc said when he showed him the pictures, but I didn't get the complete story until my follow up.

I had an exploratory laparoscopy and a hysteroscopy. They lasered all the endometriosis they found which was on both ovaries, some in a pocket on the right side of my uterus, and some on my left uteral-sacral ligament (it is because of this endometriosis on my uteral-sacral ligament that they knew I had endo due to the pain it caused with cervical manipulation). All of the endo was removed. They also found a para-tubal cyst on my right tube. This type of cyst can twist and wrap around the tube closing off the tube. When discovered, it was unwraped and untwisted, but it could have caused intermittent problems that I didn't even know about. The hysterscopy revealed a polyp in my left tube which was then removed. They repeated the HSG and found both tubes to be open and clear at the end of the surgery.

Knowing all of this, it is possible that I had both a toxic pelvic environment from the endo as well as blocked tubes (although I previously had a good HSG).

The doc gave us a 40% chance of getting pregnant naturally over the next 3 months. If not pregnant by October, we call him on CD1 of that cycle to start IUIs with injectables. With IUIs and TTC naturally, combined he gives us a 70% chance of getting pregnant. Since he plans to let us have 3 months of TTC naturally and 3 cycles of IUI, that means we have a 70% chance of conceiving before the end of 2012.

It really feels like I am starting all over again with TTC. You know the excitement you feel when you first start trying, how you are just so sure you are going to get pregnant right away and you question whether you are really ready for this? That's how I feel right now.

Weekly Wednesday Weigh-In: Starting week 28

 

It's been about a month since I last did a weigh-in, so I thought it was about time that I posted about where I'm at. I did weigh myself last week, so I'll post that weight as last week's weight, but that was right before surgery. I gained about 8 lbs of water weight from the fluid they left during surgery, but it seems like that has all been absorbed and is now gone.

I have actually lost some weight finally. I skipped 134 and went right from 135 down to 133 last week and now I'm down even further. I finally feel excited to continue to try to lose some weight.

1. Reiterate my goal and where I stand in reference to this goal. (BMI info from this website)

Starting weight: 145        
Last Week's Weight: 133

Current Weight: 132 (-12 lbs total, 8 lbs to goal!!!)   
Goal Weight : 125       

Starting BMI: 26.5
Last Week's BMI: 23.6

Current BMI: 23.4(In the normal range!!)
Goal BMI: 18.5-24.9 or exactly 22.1 for goal weight

2. Discuss what I am going to do to achieve my goals.

Progress on last week's activities:

Nothing, I've been recovering from surgery. We've eaten out about half the meals since surgery due to my inability/unwillingness to cook, but this streak/need has now ended.

Activities for this coming week:

I'm not allowed to work out until next Wednesday, but I think that I will go to yoga Tuesday night as long as I'm feeling up to it.  I've been feeling good so far, so I don't think that extra 12 hours will matter. Until I can work out again, I'm going to be eating very lightly and doing housework to help keep from putting weight back on

3. Post a (reasonably healthy) recipe that I've tried, a cooking tip, a new idea for working out for people to try, a photo update of my weight loss, or anything else I feel like sharing. 

I just wanted to let you all know that now that I've had my surgery and am recovering, my motivation to finish losing this weight is significantly higher. My RE gave us a 40% chance of conceiving naturally between now and October. We're going to make this our best (and cheapest) shot. And I 

want to be my idea weight when starting pregnancy. 

Rather than working out like crazy I've started to really limit my food intake to 3 smallish meals a day with healthy snacks. But I'm going to push real hard to get down to 125, once there we'll see if I feel like going lower or just building muscle at that point, I'm not sure yet.

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Michele @ Nowhere in NM (TTCer) MFP: shesshells

Gee @ Gee Baby (TTCer)
Mag @ Witty Infertility (TTCer)
Shannon @ Arkansas Runner (TTCer)
Donor Diva @ Motherhood via Egg Donation (TTC#2) MFP: horn5378 

The Cornfed Feminist (Pregnant) MFP: katie112007

Nico @ Phred, Fwed, and Schweffel (pregnant)

Josie @ My Cheap Version of Therapy (postpartum) MFP: _Josey_

Kristy @ Relaxing Doesn't Get You Pregnant (postpartum)

One Day @ Are We There Yet? (postpartum - twins)

Laura @ Legos and Jets (postpartum)
ks @ Inconceivable!?!?! (postpartum)
jenn @ Adventures of a Nomadic Housewife (postpartum)
Holly @ Holly G. and Co. (postpartum)
Julia @ 3 bed 2 bath 1 baby (postpartum)
Meghan @ Maybe Baby, It's You...Two! (postpartum - twins)
Just Us & A Miracle Baby too! (postpartum)

Heather @ The Road Less Traveled (postpartum)

Laparoscopy...check! and then some

I had my Laparoscopy yesterday, and hysteroscopy, and HSG and polyp removal. Who knew I was going in for the whole shebang!

They found stage 2 endo and removed it, which makes me feel good and bad. I'm glad they found it. I'm glad that, since it was Stage 2, I had the procedure, but I sort of also wish they found nothing and that I didn't have it.  They gave me pictures as proof that they removed endo from an ovary and something else. Husband wasn't too clear on the details although he really tried to remember.

They had told me that if I wasn't under for too long they would also do a hysteroscopy, I'm glad they did decide to do this because they found a polyp at the entrance to one of my tubes, so although that tube was open during my HSG a few months ago, it likely has not been since.

After they did the hysteroscopy, they also did an HSG again to make sure that the tubes flushed clear. I assume that they did because I didn't hear anything about it.

I'm in no pain, I've taken no medication for pain or for nausea. But the laxative they made me take on Tuesday night has had long lasting effects, which I guess is better than the alternative.

I considered posting pictures of my insides, but decided against it (I thought it might be gross to some, but let me know), instead I will show you the before and after of the outside of my stomach. I was told that they would be leaving about 200 cc's of fluid behind to promote healing. I was told that I would look several months pregnant, but besides a slight sloshy feeling when I move around it's not been too bad.  3 incisions in total and bandaids covering them for the squeamish.

Before

Before

After

After

Not a WWW

So I purposefully avoided doing a WWW. Don't get me wrong, I'm still watching my food intake and exercising, but the pounds on the scale still aren't going anywhere. However, I am leaner and more toned as far as how I look and people at work are even commenting on it. I'm not sure if they are trying to indicate that I look healthier or that my pants are now too baggy, but whatever, I'll take the compliment.

On another note, I did get AF on Monday and am now scheduled for the laparoscopy. It's next Wednesday. I go for my pre-op on Monday at the RE's office for the details on the surgery. I'm now more freaked out that I don't know the time of the surgery or what hospital it will be at more than I am about the surgery itself. Perhaps this is progress.

As a total aside, I think the husband has lost his mind. I'm only slightly joking when I say that.

It seems that a number of things that bother him have pushed him over the edge. I just don't understand what could be that aggravating to a person who is out of school for the summer and all he does during the day is go to the gym and play video games. He is in fact so bored the he usually requests that I make him a list of things to do while I am at work all day. I usually only put 3 or 4 things on the list so that doesn't end up turning this around on me and claiming that I am forcing slave labor on him. So his list typically includes 3 or 4 of the following: Do the dishes, Wash the laundry, Dust the furniture, Vacuum, Clean the bathrooms, Mow the lawn (all 10 square feet), Run a few errands. Now mind you that these are typically all things that I do (except the dishes, I refuse to wash them if I'm always the one who cooks) in addition to working 50-60 hours a week. Yet he still freaks out about the turtle tank not being clean, or the dogs misbehaving (like whining because they need to go out to the bathroom).

There is more to the story on the husband, but I'm not sure if it is quite appropriate for the space that I've created here, but the gist of it is that I've recommended he seek out a counselor for anger management/PTSD. I hope that he decides to make the call.

Waiting sucks

I've said it before and I'll say it again...Waiting Sucks!

The two week wait sucks enough on it's own, but knowing that you're in your 2ww just waiting for AF to show so that you can call in to schedule a laparoscopy makes it worse.

I expect AF early next week, I will then call in to see when my laparoscopy will be.

I won't lie, the anesthesia sort of scares me and so does the unknown level of pain that will occur after I have the procedure done. The doc only does surgeries on Wednesdays so I will have Wednesday through Friday off and then will have to be back to work on the following Monday. I think I will be fine by then, but we shall see.

I know that this procedure will drastically increase our odds for a BFP if I do actually have endometriosis, but what if I don't have it? What if I go through all of this just to find out that there is none? Not only will I have wasted a cycle, but I will have surgery and scars for nothing! I know, it will just be a small cut in my bellybutton, but still! I'm glad that insurance at least pays for this, because otherwise it would just be more money wasted. I guess I just have to trust that this doc knows what he's doing, also I'm coming to realize that even if there is none, at least the procedure will rule endo out as a cause.

I'm also dwelling on the fact that I'm still a little pissed that my first 2nd opinion recommended doing an exploratory laparoscopy last year around this time and I wasn't ready to do anything that extreme before trying IUIs.

Side note: my Weekly Wednesday Weigh-in post was going to suck, because I'm still exercising, still watching what I eat, but just not doing enough of either to actually lose weight so I decided not to post this week. I'm hopeful that just persisting will cause some change eventually or motivate me to do more.

Second Side note: I just don't know what to write about as I'm just hanging out, I haven't actually done any ART since November, I feel boring. I'm sorry to say that because I feel boring it has affected my commenting. I promise that I do read though, I'm just not in the mood to comment much right now.  I'm afraid that the bitchy/complaining side of me will come out even though I don't mean it to.