Friday, June 1, 2012

Waiting sucks

I've said it before and I'll say it again...Waiting Sucks!

The two week wait sucks enough on it's own, but knowing that you're in your 2ww just waiting for AF to show so that you can call in to schedule a laparoscopy makes it worse.

I expect AF early next week, I will then call in to see when my laparoscopy will be.

I won't lie, the anesthesia sort of scares me and so does the unknown level of pain that will occur after I have the procedure done. The doc only does surgeries on Wednesdays so I will have Wednesday through Friday off and then will have to be back to work on the following Monday. I think I will be fine by then, but we shall see.

I know that this procedure will drastically increase our odds for a BFP if I do actually have endometriosis, but what if I don't have it? What if I go through all of this just to find out that there is none? Not only will I have wasted a cycle, but I will have surgery and scars for nothing! I know, it will just be a small cut in my bellybutton, but still! I'm glad that insurance at least pays for this, because otherwise it would just be more money wasted. I guess I just have to trust that this doc knows what he's doing, also I'm coming to realize that even if there is none, at least the procedure will rule endo out as a cause.

I'm also dwelling on the fact that I'm still a little pissed that my first 2nd opinion recommended doing an exploratory laparoscopy last year around this time and I wasn't ready to do anything that extreme before trying IUIs.

Side note: my Weekly Wednesday Weigh-in post was going to suck, because I'm still exercising, still watching what I eat, but just not doing enough of either to actually lose weight so I decided not to post this week. I'm hopeful that just persisting will cause some change eventually or motivate me to do more.

Second Side note: I just don't know what to write about as I'm just hanging out, I haven't actually done any ART since November, I feel boring. I'm sorry to say that because I feel boring it has affected my commenting. I promise that I do read though, I'm just not in the mood to comment much right now.  I'm afraid that the bitchy/complaining side of me will come out even though I don't mean it to.


  1. I had an exploratory lap. in November! I waited a long time to actually do it too. I did have Endo, but it was all lasered out.

    Everything else checked out fine with mine. I too, had surgery on early, early on a Wednesday and returned to work on Monday. It was the perfect amount of time for me. I had a pretty slow recovery and was really sore (compared to what I've heard other's say) and was finally feeling like myself my Monday. I had 3 incision points and the lowest one (also the largest) is super small now. My advice is to have some kind of gas-x on hand and take a stool softener :)
    Hoping it goes well!

  2. You shouldn't feel boring. I am here reading everything you post. If you feel like it why not talk about things other than ART. Tell us about your hobbies, books you have read or tell a story about a fun happy time in your life. This place is whatever you want it to be. It doesn't have to be just about ART. Hugz!

  3. Hang in there hon - it will be good to know either way! Also, we all go through phases where we are cranky and don't feel like blogging or being positive. This too shall pass... :)

  4. Thinking of you while you wait and hope that this next step brings you quickly to your dreams after a speedy recovery xoxo


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