I think I'm back now

Summer is winding down now, the school year has started back up, as evidenced by the 15 mph school zone I have to drive through daily on my way to work.  I wasn't particularly busy this summer and I only took one extended trip away from home, but it was nice to have a summer vacation away from this space. I'm not sure why, but I think I really needed it. A post every two weeks or so felt very relaxing.

It had been hard to post anything besides maybe weekly updates on various things which became stale and boring. When I see those weekly bumpdates/memorable moments/weigh-ins in my reader, I invariably click over and read the post. I do it because I care about the people who are posting them, but I have very little motivation to comment. Don't get me wrong, I love to see what my bloggy friends are up to, especially when pictures are involved. But their lack of "substance" has left me a little lackadaisical. I know myself and that I need comments for motivation to actually come here and write, and weekly updates weren't cutting it for me as they rarely draw comments.

Josie recently posted about words with substance which I've been thinking about ever since. While her post is more about how our words can affect others and that we should perhaps be careful about what we include in our writing on our blogs, it still struck a chord with me about writing posts that actually have some substance to them.

I'm more of that kind of writer (if you can call my ramblings writing). I feel better about posting an update about what is really going on with me and my life and TTC than the rote weekly updates. I know that weekly updates are better than nothing at all, but when I re-read my own posts, I do realize how little emotion and substance that I actually include. It's not that I don't feel comfortable expressing my emotions here, it's that I'm not an overtly emotional person. Just more of a go with the flow, it is what it is, kind of girl.

However, I also realize after reading Mel's recent posts on deleting blogs and discontinuing writing on blogs, that you, my readers, are invested in me and my story. And you know what? For me, that is exactly why I come here. I need the connection, I need to commiserate, I need to know that someone else gets it. I don't come here to get my feelings out, we've already determined that I may or may not actually have feelings/emotions. This is the equivalent of group therapy for me rather than individual visits with a psychologist. If I need to write more posts with substance for my group therapy to be effective, I'm prepared. If I need to post more pictures to tell my story, I can do that. If I need to join back in the weekly updates so that you all have some reason to stop by, I'm ready

So, as perhaps I've promised in the past, again I'm going to try to come back and reconnect with you all in this space.