Monday, February 13, 2012

The School of Infertility

There is nothing more frustrating than trying to be patient while waiting to cycle. It gives me a lot of time to think (and even more so now that we turned off our dire.ct TV) and to come up with a metaphor for infertility.

I've never tried so hard for something and failed so miserably. That is not part of my personality. I want something, I work for it, I get it...that's how it is supposed to go.

My life functions well in 4 year increments:

4 years of high school: check
4 years of college: check
4 years of graduate school: check
4 years of infertility: hell no!!!

I am currently starting my junior year in the school of infertility or at least while earning my minor in reproductive endocrinology. I'm pretty sure I flunked my freshman and sophomore year, but the fertility gods don't seem to care, they passed me through to my junior year anyway. Meanwhile, everyone else around me gets to graduate early.

Maybe my metaphor isn't exactly accurate, but it really does feel like school, right?

Your freshman year you're just learning the ropes, you know? Just getting used to it. Learning the lingo and just trying to sneak by without being noticed. You know the road ahead might be long, but essentially you're still excited by the prospects.

By your sophomore year, you're an old pro. You tease the Freshman because they don't really know what it's like, you know your smarter than them, you've even made a few friends on the way.

By your junior year, just just want to graduate already, you're done. You've looked at cribs colleges and you know what you want.

Good god help me if I don't graduate before my senior year, I don't even want to know what that will be like.

God bless those of you who had to take graduate level classes in infertility, you're my hero.

If you graduated already, how's the real world treating you? If not, what year are you at?


  1. Graduating is amazing and a total high...but then it's like you restart the loop at kindergarten, not sure how to do ANYTHING again.

    We are always learning. :)

    Here's to hoping you get to graduate early as well!!

  2. This morning as I stared at yet another negative test, I thought "I've never failed so many tests in my life." As an almost 6th year senior, I'm losing steam and senioritis has run rampant! Hoping you ace your tests soon!

  3. Graduating is amazing but hard at the same time. Not knowing how to do anything is frustrating at times but so worth it. You are going to make it, I just know!

  4. April will mark the beginning of my senior year - something I never imagined I would see when I stopped taking the pill in 2009.

    I am still learning.

  5. I had to trudge through to my Senior year and couldn't believe it took that long...Haven't quite graduated yet but almost there. You'll get there someday and it will still have lasting memories, but they do begin to fade over time. Keep on keepin on girly! You can do it! Congrats on your weight loss journey so far!

  6. Love your analogy... and hope your graduation is this year :) Know how you feel about "I want something, I work for it, I get it...that's how it is supposed to go"... I'm slowly realising IF isn't like that and that's what I find hardest of all. Hopefully this year is our year too xoxo


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