I'll do Anything!!!

I'm ready for a new month and a fresh start.

A few days ago I posted about my drive back from work, and in response Josey dared me to respond to the border patrol agent in an amusing/possibly criminal way. And I swear I freakin' tried.

I pull up and instead of the standard "Are you a US citizen?" I simply get "go on through ma'am, and have a good evening. Instead of leaving well enough alone...

I respond, "Ah, c'mon, you didn't even ask me the right question". 

He says, "Why...should I?"

I say, "No sir...but...hypothetically what would you do if I had said 'si'"

He looks me up and down and says "I've been doin' this for years I know a foreigner when I see one"

Little does he know I have a Canadian sitting next to me (here legally on a student visa I might add).

So, to bring this back to the point of my blog (infertility...duh...not just that I live in the middle of nowhere), I am looking for some new infertility related dares ideas. I have seen a whole lot of BFP's posted lately and am looking to see if any of those ladies (or any of you in general that read this) to dare me again share your ideas...fertility related of course, as I'd like to be knocked up, not arrested.

Any Kama Sutra positions you would have like to experiment with to see if it helps?

Any strange concoctions you might have considered eating or drunking to add to the mix?

What about particular colors worn on a certain day? (I'm not really sure about that one)

Anything that thickens your lining, raises your progesterone, stimulates ovulation, increases cervical mucus, improves sex drive....The world is your oyster...

(Speaking of oysters, ritual animal sacrifice is out!)

Maybe there's something well known that I simply haven't heard of. Maybe there's something you've heard of, but not known anyone who's tried it. As I'm not currently under any particular regime I'm not committed to anything. Throw me your best suggestions.

Side note: I'm on day 4, so anything you're supposed to try from CD1 may be out. 

Second side note: Check out my "Thing's I've tried" page to see if it has already been checked off my list or if you have some combo that you think might help.

Not pregnant

Definitely not pregnant, but I'm not surprised. AF came to stay this morning.

Hope stayed alive because I didn't test last night. However, just after I posted last night, I started spotting, then my temperature dropped this morning. Then all day I bled like a leak in the Hoover dam.

I'm not a believer in TMI, I'm an open book and want to share my opinion, so here's forewarning that the following may be TMI for some.

I've never bled bright red before. I mean stop sign red, like if I cut myself with a knife, holy shit I might be dying kind of red. I tried to google it to see if there was any meaning behind this with mixed reviews. Any opinions from you guys? Is this a good sign for the next cycle?

I'm really hoping that my hypothyroidism is the cause and this new dose will be the trick.

Sh*t my brain thinks...

So I've spent a lot of time in the car driving to and fro to work (1 hour to 1.5 hours each way each day) allowing myself a bunch of time to think. Recently I listened to "Shit my dad says" on a book on tape on my drive (it's a book and a TV show) and found it hilarious. The author gives a phrase from his dad and then goes on to explain the origin sometimes in detail.

Since I'm mostly by myself, my version will be called "Shit my brain thinks".

So in no particular order, here are some fun thoughts from today.

"Come on AF, Let's get on with the show!!!"
-My typical LP is 12-14 days. I'm  now at 15 DPO with 2 negative at home preggo tests since my last post. If I am pregnant, apparently I'm not meant to know. If I'm not pregnant, then come on AF, let's get on with the show!!!

"Imagine a newborn trying to breastfeed in a jungle of hair."
-I've decided that I won't be cutting my hair until right before I deliver a baby. I've been planning to donate my hair for a while now. I've done it 2x already, once in college and once in graduate school. I haven't really cut it since before our wedding in Oct. 2009 when it was just about shoulder length, and then I had it trimmed last summer. I know it's not healthy, but I'm lazy and don't have time or energy to get it trimmed now.  It's about long enough now, but I'm going to wait. It's now long enough that it gets stuck in my bra strap. I, however, don't want to be the hippy with the long hair so maybe it's about time for a trim. My reasoning for getting it cut before I deliver is that I heard your hair falls out after you deliver, plus I can only imagine a newborn trying to breastfeed in a jungle of hair.

"Fuckin' Fuck Me Fuckity-Fuck"
-My new internal phrase I say to myself when I'm frustrated is "Fuckin' Fuck Me Fuckity-Fuck". Try it next time you're frustrated, it's a feel-good tongue twister, just be sure not to say it out loud. Now I don't typically swear, but I do occasionally suffer from mood swung. That is to say that my mood doesn't swing up and down it swings to bitchy...and stays...all day. Perhaps it's PMS today, or perhaps I'm really a bitch. One event today in particular was fun at Walmart. People at Walmart piss me off and when I've been working and traveling for 13 hours the last thing I want is to get behind someone who is choosing which groceries to purchase because they didn't bring/don't have enough money to purchase what they put in their cart!!! I just want to buy some milk people!!!

"Do pregnant women wear suits?"
-Really now, do pregnant women wear suits? I'm required to wear a suit to work and typically I don't button the jacket. Would it be weird to get maternity pants and maternity shirts and wear the suit coat with a big preggo belly sticking out and the total inability to button the jacket up the front? I can wear a lab coat if I don't wear a suit coat, but I'm short and it hangs to my knees and makes me look like an umpa-lumpa.

"Does anyone else think New Mexico should be re-named North Mexico?"
-I'm now ready to reveal where "Nowhere, NM" actually is because otherwise this next part won't make sense. Plus, I think it pertinent that my readers know how much it sucks to live here. Take a look at the map below. I live in the little town near the bottom of the map called Alamogordo. That is also where I typically work, but recently I've been traveling to Las Cruces (about 80 miles across the desert). Just FYI to add to the suckage,  I've also previously spent one day a week in our Ruidoso office (50 miles away and up the mountain) as well as one day a week in our Roswell office (70 miles past Ruidoso). We travel to El Paso, TX for shopping and good restaurants (although there are some in Las Cruces) which is actually a large town but for whatever reason isn't labeled on the map, it is just north of Juarez, Mexico. A sliver of Texas lies between Alamogordo and Juarez. You can leave Alamogordo and drive to Las Cruces or El Paso just fine, but on the way back you must stop at a border patrol station where, because I am a white girl in an expensive car with a Mid-Western accent, they ask "Are you a US citizen?" and I reply "Yes" then they let me pass without further question. Does this make sense to anyone else. You have to drive through Texas to get to New Mexico THEN you have to go through border patrol?!?!?!!?! Plus, all of the border patrol guys are Hispanic!!! I stop here every day after work, out in the desert and I've often thought that my answer to their question should be "Yes, are you?". Chances are that would get me into a lot of trouble and game of 20 questions with border patrol doesn't sound like fun, but my co-worker (who is Hispanic) wants to chance the response "Si". Now, does anyone else think New Mexico should be re-named North Mexico?

If you can't enlarge, just google map Alamogordo, NM

Lots of randomness, feel free to comment as you please.

Side note: Back tomorrow to update on AF status.

Still hanging in there...

Still no AF, but I'm afraid to test as that is the most obvious and best way to bring AF on.

My LP is between 12 and 14 days long usually and today is 13 DPO. I've been crampy for a couple of days, but surprisingly nothing today.

I'm sure that simply by writing this post AF will show up tomorrow and likely at the most inconvenient time. How about the hour ride across the desert (with literally nowhere to stop but a port-o-potty) on the way to work in the morning? Oh no, you say, not there?!?! How about while I'm seeing a patient during a 1.5 hour appointment? Does that sound better?

Still holding out hope that this month is my month. Silly little hope, creeps in where she's not wanted.

Side Note: They did do a urine pregnancy test at my Dr.'s appointment on Tuesday. Doc brought up the idea, I didn't even request it. You've never seen 3 people who are essentially strangers stare at the same pee stick with such intent (Me, Doc, and the Nurse). It was negative at 8 DPO.



Second Side Note: Either I can't read or I can't do math or both. Remember when I said they tripled my dose for my thyroid meds? Well...not quite...or, well...not at all. I was at 50 micrograms (I thought I was taking 25) and now I am at 75. Let's still hope it does the trick.



Third Side Note: Yesterday was H's birthday, we drove to El Paso (a 2 hour drive thank you very much) and ate at Texas Roadhouse (his choice, and yes that's how far we have to go to get something other than Chili's and Applebees). We also picked up some jewelry from the jewelers that he was having resized and I was having repaired.  He got a new watch and I got new shoes...hey, don't judge me, it's fair!!!! They're Clarks and they are comfortable and I can wear them to work. He got a Gucci watch that has a stop watch. As a personal trainer, he justified that it was necessary and worth it (to me and to himself I think). 

Second Side Note: I've talked about my friend Mary on here several times before. She reads and follows this blog. She just found out on Wednesday that her Mom died. I don't have the information on why or how, but I know it was sudden. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she travels with her two young kids home to Connecticut to see her family and attend the funeral. Also, her brother passed away in February in a freak accident and her boyfriend is now stationed in England...This is not her year. 

6 weeks later and not a day further along

So I just got back from a visit with Doc.

He and I reviewed my recent charts and we are now certain that I ovulate on a regular basis.



We also reviewed my bloodwork from yesterday morning and found out that my TSH isn't all that much lower that it was before the last 6 weeks of Synthroid for hypothyroidism. It was 8.6 and is now 5.48 (just within the lab's normal limits of 5.50). So he tripled my dose!  I hope that his being so conservative to start with doesn't affect anything else that we may decide to do in the long run.


I asked if anything else could be done at this point and he said that he wasn't going to use Clomid now because of it's risks and side effects and the fact that I already ovulate.


He asked if my recent traveling for work affects our sex life...awkward!...but I guess a necessary question and the answer was no, it doesn't affect it.



He wants to see me back in 4 weeks.


What a waste of the last 6 weeks.

It's been forever

Sorry it's been forever since I last posted, but I'm still in a holding pattern. It now looks like I did ovulate around CD18 which is about 4 days late for me so I was starting to give up hope (I was sick at the beginning of this cycle and I think it threw me off). However, since all it takes to get pregnant is sex when you ovulate, then we somehow hit the nail right on the head. Take a look:

Side Note: I've had a recent craving for sushi, so whenever I get the chance I insist we must go out for sushi. As we have to drive at least an hour in one of two directions to even get to a town that has a sushi restaurant, we don't go very often. However, it has been at least once a weekend for the last 3 weeks. I hope this is my body's way of telling me "get this out of your system, you won't be able to do this for long".

Second Side Note: My next appointment with doc is tomorrow, I'm really hopeful that this visit will result in a referral to an RE. I had a blood test for my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) this morning but HCG was not checked on the order. Will they do a pregnancy test from it anyway? Since it is unlikely that they will, should I test at home before I go or should I have them whip out a pee stick at the office tomorrow or should I just assume that, as usual, I am not pregnant.

BBT-ing

I can't decide if charting my BBT is worth the effort. When I get into the routine of doing it on a regular basis, I don't mind doing it, however, recently my schedule has changed.


I was offered a position at a different office within the company I work for. The new position is at an office 80 miles away. There was no pay increase, there were no additional perks, there was really no difference except I would be more independent and in-charge of my own assistants and I could possibly make more sales as I work off commission and the other office is in a larger city. An additional perk is that H goes to school in this city and it would be more convenient for him if we lived there, however, he has been taking mostly online classes and will be done with school in 1-2 years.


I turned down the position.


We own our house and like the small town living our income to debt (regular bills) ratio is in our favor right now. We want a bigger house and would have to sell this house and buy likely a smaller house and rent one in the meantime. We decided it wasn't in our best interest for me to accept the position. So after a discussion with my boss about all this we told her our decision.


She didn't like my decision and has sent me there anyway...at least temporarily. She doesn't want to be in this position herself and also, realizes I will quit if this becomes permanent. So I make the trek to that office 3-4 days a week from now until they get someone permanent into the position. 


Yes, this sucks. Yes, this fucks with our TTC plan, however, she is willing to work with me around my Dr.'s appointments if given enough notice. BUT, this really messes with my BBT, after several months of temping at 6:45, I now must get up at 5:30 to be able to get to work on time at 8:00. Therefore, my chart was thrown off mid-month due to travel, also it was screwed up in the beginning because I had the plague. Now what do I do with the weekends?!?!?! Do I just skip those days? Do I have to wake up at 5:30 on my days off? What about the days where I don't have to get up until 6:45 because I will be working in town?


For those of you who chart, what would you do?


For those of you who don't chart, why did you decide to stop, or why didn't you start in the first place? Any suggestions for alternatives?


Side Note: My CM is not an effective way of monitoring ovulation as it seems to be screwed up due to the cryosurgery I had and I end up using Pre-Seed


Second Side Note: I'm concerned about this because it's day 18 and I haven't ovulated yet, I usually do about day 15, temp hasn't risen, OPK hasn't been positive, take a look at my current chart (see below), and also I've added a new page (see top of my blog) with all my BBT charts.

Third Side Note: it was 92 degrees Fahrenheit out today, we had to turn on our air conditioner tonight so that H could fall asleep. Hope it was nice wherever you are!