Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Sh*t my brain thinks...

So I've spent a lot of time in the car driving to and fro to work (1 hour to 1.5 hours each way each day) allowing myself a bunch of time to think. Recently I listened to "Shit my dad says" on a book on tape on my drive (it's a book and a TV show) and found it hilarious. The author gives a phrase from his dad and then goes on to explain the origin sometimes in detail.

Since I'm mostly by myself, my version will be called "Shit my brain thinks".

So in no particular order, here are some fun thoughts from today.

"Come on AF, Let's get on with the show!!!"
-My typical LP is 12-14 days. I'm  now at 15 DPO with 2 negative at home preggo tests since my last post. If I am pregnant, apparently I'm not meant to know. If I'm not pregnant, then come on AF, let's get on with the show!!!

"Imagine a newborn trying to breastfeed in a jungle of hair."
-I've decided that I won't be cutting my hair until right before I deliver a baby. I've been planning to donate my hair for a while now. I've done it 2x already, once in college and once in graduate school. I haven't really cut it since before our wedding in Oct. 2009 when it was just about shoulder length, and then I had it trimmed last summer. I know it's not healthy, but I'm lazy and don't have time or energy to get it trimmed now.  It's about long enough now, but I'm going to wait. It's now long enough that it gets stuck in my bra strap. I, however, don't want to be the hippy with the long hair so maybe it's about time for a trim. My reasoning for getting it cut before I deliver is that I heard your hair falls out after you deliver, plus I can only imagine a newborn trying to breastfeed in a jungle of hair.

"Fuckin' Fuck Me Fuckity-Fuck"
-My new internal phrase I say to myself when I'm frustrated is "Fuckin' Fuck Me Fuckity-Fuck". Try it next time you're frustrated, it's a feel-good tongue twister, just be sure not to say it out loud. Now I don't typically swear, but I do occasionally suffer from mood swung. That is to say that my mood doesn't swing up and down it swings to bitchy...and stays...all day. Perhaps it's PMS today, or perhaps I'm really a bitch. One event today in particular was fun at Walmart. People at Walmart piss me off and when I've been working and traveling for 13 hours the last thing I want is to get behind someone who is choosing which groceries to purchase because they didn't bring/don't have enough money to purchase what they put in their cart!!! I just want to buy some milk people!!!

"Do pregnant women wear suits?"
-Really now, do pregnant women wear suits? I'm required to wear a suit to work and typically I don't button the jacket. Would it be weird to get maternity pants and maternity shirts and wear the suit coat with a big preggo belly sticking out and the total inability to button the jacket up the front? I can wear a lab coat if I don't wear a suit coat, but I'm short and it hangs to my knees and makes me look like an umpa-lumpa.

"Does anyone else think New Mexico should be re-named North Mexico?"
-I'm now ready to reveal where "Nowhere, NM" actually is because otherwise this next part won't make sense. Plus, I think it pertinent that my readers know how much it sucks to live here. Take a look at the map below. I live in the little town near the bottom of the map called Alamogordo. That is also where I typically work, but recently I've been traveling to Las Cruces (about 80 miles across the desert). Just FYI to add to the suckage,  I've also previously spent one day a week in our Ruidoso office (50 miles away and up the mountain) as well as one day a week in our Roswell office (70 miles past Ruidoso). We travel to El Paso, TX for shopping and good restaurants (although there are some in Las Cruces) which is actually a large town but for whatever reason isn't labeled on the map, it is just north of Juarez, Mexico. A sliver of Texas lies between Alamogordo and Juarez. You can leave Alamogordo and drive to Las Cruces or El Paso just fine, but on the way back you must stop at a border patrol station where, because I am a white girl in an expensive car with a Mid-Western accent, they ask "Are you a US citizen?" and I reply "Yes" then they let me pass without further question. Does this make sense to anyone else. You have to drive through Texas to get to New Mexico THEN you have to go through border patrol?!?!?!!?! Plus, all of the border patrol guys are Hispanic!!! I stop here every day after work, out in the desert and I've often thought that my answer to their question should be "Yes, are you?". Chances are that would get me into a lot of trouble and game of 20 questions with border patrol doesn't sound like fun, but my co-worker (who is Hispanic) wants to chance the response "Si". Now, does anyone else think New Mexico should be re-named North Mexico?
If you can't enlarge, just google map Alamogordo, NM

Lots of randomness, feel free to comment as you please.

Side note: Back tomorrow to update on AF status.


  1. this made me laugh so hard! I don't know how you can handle that drive everyday!!

  2. Fuckin' Fuck Me Fuckity-Fuck...this entire post cracked me up!!

    Um, yeah, no way to NM. I feel like I live pretty far south, but you're still 9 hours south of me! (ridgway, co) I totally double dog dare you to answer SI!

  3. ps, since I'm a day late commenting on this, where is your update? GOD i hope you're planning on posting a pic of a BFP later today.


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I do read everyone of them and look forward to hearing what you have to say.