Hello ICLWers for my TTC timeline you can click the tab above, for a quick update you can see this post from earlier this week.
No I'm not pregnant, I'm just thinking about the future and here's what I came up with.
Are you still infertile if you go one to have a healthy pregnancy that produces a child?
I think so, I don't think the mind and body can ever forget infertility. I think those women who do move on continue to understand the plight of those who are waiting for their BFP. But most of all, I think those who are still waiting should rejoice with those who have succeeded instead of drowning in their continued struggle. After so many 2 week waits, those women are now in their 9 month wait and a continued state of fear. For most of us will hopefully move on and have the same success.
So many women in our little blogosphere struggle to conceive but then do move on to have a successful pregnancy. Initially, most seem to internally debate between their desire to blog about their success and the experiences that come with that success without sounding like they are complaining or aren't grateful. They are still infertile! They know what it feels like to be left behind other side waiting for a BFP and seeing others move on into pregnancy and parenting. They, however, still need to vent.
My personal opinion is that this is my space. This is where I get to be myself and talk about my life and my experiences. When my BFP comes, I hope that those who have been following me can rejoice with me. I also hope that they can empathize even though they may not be able to sympathize if they haven't gone through it themselves. I have no qualms about following and commenting on those blogs who's writers have moved on into pregnancy and parenting. I hope you all can help me cope with the morning sickness and all the other side effects as well as the craziness that comes with having a newborn.
Have you all seen the movie Cider House Rules based on the novel by the same name written by John Irving?
If not, then let me summarize it a little for you so that I can get to my analogy (it came to me in the shower one morning and I thought it would make a good post, but it can't stand on it's own).
There is a doctor in a rural town during a time when abortions were illegal. He performs these illegal abortions but also runs an orphanage for the unwanted children who are born and left there. Tobey Maguire is one such orphan and the leading role in the movie. His character comes of age and leaves the orphanage to work in a cider house only to end up returning to the orphanage to take over for the original doctor, he has been training for this position his whole life even though he never goes to medical school. Although, the movie has the side stories of abortions, orphans and adoptions I'd like to make a slightly different point then you likely expect.
At one point in the movie, one of the children from the orphanage gets adopted. The doctor and the orphans have their traditions, one of which is to help the children who remain cope after one of their friend's has left. He has those who remain wish those who have been adopted well in their new lives, he tells them "Be happy for him, he has found a home." They then all say goodnight/goodbye to the one who has left.
To all of you who I have followed who have gotten pregnant, I am happy for you, you have found your new life. Instead of saying goodbye, I will say congratulations!
To those of you who are still waiting with me, I hope you will be happy for me when I find my new life. I hope you will continue to follow me and comment on occasion and can congratulate me.